bade with a blog

January 11, 2016 The Blame Game Imagine a world where nothing is scary to you, where pain is not something you avoid; maybe rather prefer, where you are able to be so free that even the birds from the Earth would be astonished. What could stop you from doing what you want? Who could you point at when asked if anyone had gotten in the way of your dreams? In such a place, would you feel content for as long as you can remember? Or would you say that the grass was really greener on the other side? Now that, to me, is intriguing. We, as human beings, are prone to blame others for the things we can't quite accept. There are times when we become so absent minded that we simply dismiss the facts that lay right in front of us; that this is all a part of life and that there's not one thing we can do to change what has already been done. It's not okay to expect people to be aligned with what you have in mind. I'm sure everyone has heard this at least once or twice before, but I s

An Open Letter to My Greatest Crush December 2015 Lo(v/s)ing Someone Recently, I lost and gained someone at the same time. I'll be upfront, I had a crush on someone who has recently almost literally "crushed" me. I didn't know what to do. Maybe I should have been honest with him and told him that I liked him a lot. Love is a losing game. In this case, apparently, I'm the loser. I will still have feelings for him, that's for sure. I like seeing him happy, though so if she can make him the happiest person on the planet, I can cope with this. I lost him but I may have also gained him because he was somewhat intimidated by me but now that he has a girlfriend, it's obvious that we will just be friends and maybe, this could be a chance for us to become really good friends. The problem is that I don't want to be friends. I want to be able to inhale his smell, kiss his neck, hug him ever so tightly. I want to be the one who makes him happy. I just wish that

February 26, 2016 It's not about the physical pain, I'm mentally suffering which actually feels like an endless one and I'm not afraid, I'm just in a state where I'm quite mindful, not exactly but almost... Then again, awareness could turn into battling against something in your mind that is not existential to begin with, moreover, you come to a point where you think you won't be able to make it but then again, I have always made it. But just because you keep going doesn't mean that you've freed your mind completely. It doesn't mean that you're done struggling and it's all become rainbows and butterflies. No. Or maybe, you have a right to battle. It does exist and it does bother you. Then, after all these suffering, I still can't give a proper answer as to how one shall overcome that, solve if you will... I can't seem to figure it out, so the best way to go is simply to forgive and to understand. Lower your expectations and you shoul